


a day without you is a day without breathing

by vintageroseriver99



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Cure, F/M, journeys end fix-it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-19 08:41:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vintageroseriver99/pseuds/vintageroseriver99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of separation The Doctor finds a way to get back his best friend - he's been struggling without her but he didn't know just how much she had been struggling. Finally there's a way for him to get his Earthgirl back, JE Fix-it, fluff. Kudos and Reviews are really appreciated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a day without you is a day without breathing

**Author's Note:**

> Sylvia isn't the horrible cow we thought she was? I hear you all say, well no I think underneath it all she really is a nice person. Next chapter will be up asap.

~1~

Wilf could hear her tossing about in bed through the wall, soon she would wake up and start screaming but until then all he could do was sit and wait. The Doctor had promised that had to happen, that she would be better without him, but he was more wrong than he could ever imagine.  
Surely there was some way, in the whole wide universe, that Donna could be with him again, even if it meant that he could never see her again. He'd rather miss seeing her happy than watch her being sad.

"Nooooooo!" This was only the beginning, it got so much worse, she spent all night, every night, screaming out his name. It was like she hadn't forgotten him at all, and that every fibre in her body was clinging on to the memory of him because there was nothing else to keep her alive. Donna was the most stubborn woman on this planet, probably in the galaxy and if she wanted something done a certain way, it was going to happen no matter who tried to stop her. She wanted to remember her doctor, she wanted him to come back for her and Wilf knew that even if it killed her, she would find a way to see him again, even if only for a few minutes.

"Shhhh, it's okay Donna. I've sorted everything out, you're not going to die so please stop crying, I hate to see you upset." That voice. It was his voice, Wilf's ears pricked up, Donna's eyes shot open, Sylvia's jaw dropped. "Here, just drink this and everything will be fine. Shh, calm down."

"Doctor? What are you doing here? She'll remember you, she'll remember everything won't she?" Wilf couldn't understand everything that was going on, nor could Sylvia by the look of things. A speechless Sylvia Noble, I never thought I'd see the day. The Doctor couldn't help but smile, he was truly happy for the first time in months, there wasn't anything that could upset him now, he had his best friend back, his Donna.

"I'll explain everything very soon Wilfred, but right now I just need to get Donna back to the TARDIS. She's dying right now." He said in a cool matter-of-fact tone, as Donna went limp in his arms, though rage was burning in Sylvia's eyes, fear lingered in Wilf's. No, he thought, this man has saved Donna before, I trust him to save her again. 

"What do you mean 'She's dying?! What have you done to my daughter you...martian!" So, that's where she got that idea from! The Doctor thought, smiling at the harsh use of Donna's personal term of endearment for him.

"No need to worry, she'll be fine in the end of it all. There's no point in me explaining all of the as-you-put-it 'martian talk' so all you need to know is that it's a big ball of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey spacey-wacey stuff that's going to save her life okay?" The both of them nodded at him, only understanding half of his very basic explanation anyway, they'd heard 'save her life' that's all that mattered to them.  
After getting them all out to the TARDIS, and Sylvia having her 'it's bigger on the inside' moment, they all sat quietly, waiting. The Doctor rigged Donna up to the monitors, using it as a progress tracker to see how she stabilized, there was nothing any of them could do. They put her in her old bedroom, which was still almost exactly as she'd left it, and left her to rest and went back to the control room to rest.

"You know Doctor, I was wrong about you..." Sylvia began, and The Doctor raised his head absent-mindedly to hear her out. "I thought that you were always putting Donna in danger, that you were the worst thing to happen to her and she would have been better off without you. But seeing her, these last few months without you, it's been terrifying. She can't even remember you properly and she still misses you. What you saw tonight was nothing compared to what she's been like lately, she still remembers you, in her dreams but she can't remember enough to know the truth." She swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears at bay but knowing it was only a matter of time before she broke. "I..I'm sorry Doctor. I always doubted you, but you've saved our lives every time, never looked for praise in any of it and stopped to consider yourself. Donna needs you, and if this doesn't work, if she goes back to the way she was, I don't know what will happen. She's been more unhappy than you can possibly imagine these past months, mourning someone who doesn't exist. She needs you, now more than ever." She was speaking through broken sobs, and the doctor had begun to cry silently too, a lone tear was trailing down his cheek and his hands were shaking.

"I know." That was all he said, he was thinking so much more but he knew that was enough to make them understand, for now at least.  
~2~

It had been over a day now, Sylvia had gone back to the house to get food for them all while the men stayed behind, still waiting. There was no way for them to estimate how long it would be, there was no way they could say that it would definitely work, it had never been tried on human-timelord metacrisis before, but the doctor knew it worked on both humans and timelords so he still had hope at this point.

"DOCTOR! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN BED?!" That was the most relieved anybody had ever felt to hear Donna Noble scream, ever in the history of the universe. "OI, ANSWER ME SUNSHINE!" Thank god she's still my Donna. The Doctor thought, as he heard the shouts come nearer and footsteps get louder. As soon as she was inside the control room, the Doctor had hold of her in the tightest hug she had every received from him, What's happened? She thought. He only acts like this when he's extremely relieved or scared for our lives. He kept a tight hold of her, like he wanted to make sure she was actually there, he took in her smell, her perfume had always been overpowering and burned his nose but it seemed like a relaxing sensation now.

"Thank god you're alright! We were all so worried about you, at least you know who I am and where you are-" He was about to start in to one of his rants and Donna knew it so she had to cut him off.

"WHAT? Why would I not know who you are Doctor, has something happened? Where exactly are we, the last thing I remember is dropping Rose and you off in the parallel universe then you saying you were going to have to take me home, but I'm still here. How is that?" Donna asked confusedly, the Doctor just smiled, gazing in admiration at his fiery red-head.

"Donna? Donna, are you alright? Thank god you're awake, why didn't you come and get me Dad? For goodness sake, now come here you, you gave us all a right fright you did!" Sylvia ran in, just on cue, rambling about how worried she'd been and confusing Donna further.

"What on Earth has happened? Don't you dare make a witty remark spaceboy, just answer my question! And how come my mother and grandfather are on the bleeding TARDIS, are you mad?" Still the same old Donna, everybody in the room thought, still our Donna.

"Wait, you don't remember any of it? But that was four months of your life, you can't just have forgotten them, surely Doctor?" Sylvia asked, her thoughts still muddled in her head, looking for an explanation. "I don't understand."

"Are you telling me that I've lost my memory?" Everyone was trying to answer everybody else's questions but no-one was getting any answers, Donna was in need of lots of answers so she took charge like her typical self. "SHUT UP! We all want to know what's happened to me, most of all I do! The Doctor is most likely to know so I'm going to listen to him, unless you're a timelord, keep your lips sealed, got it?" All three of them went quiet and just looked at her, at least she was still their Donna, she always would be though, nothing could change that.  
The Doctor began explaining everything, it took him a while to get everybody to understand but in the end he succeeded. He also had to explain the cure, well it wasn't exactly a cure but it did put an end to their troubles.

"It's regeneration energy. The meta-crisis made you half-timelord but you're regeneration cells were still dormant, they needed to be activated so you could regenerate. Now listen, you're only half timelord which means you only have one heart, but you still have about six lives, half a normal timelord." To Wilf and Sylvia - it had gone straight over their heads- it was a foreign language, but Donna understood every word. This meant that she really could stay with the Doctor forever, like she'd always dreamed of, now it would be forever for him too.

"You mean...?" Donna had to be sure, there was still a little bit of doubt, somewhere in the back of her mind. All he did was nod, and she hugged him like there was no tomorrow, nothing could pull them apart now. "Forever?"

"Forever." He reassured her, talking into those gorgeous red locks that he had come to love. Interrupting their moment of perfect silence, Sylvia wanted an explanation.

"Would you mind explaining that to us normal humans now?!"  
This is going to be an awkward conversation, The Doctor and Donna both, as if telepathically, shared this thought.  
~3~

Sylvia and Wilfred had both gone back to the house and the TARDIS had moved somewhere else, not too far away though, knowing the Doctor would want some privacy for the inevitable flood of questions coming in his direction. As soon as he walked back in to the control room, he could tell that at some point in this conversation he was going to get a slap. He swallowed hard, gathering his courage and tried to start out the conversation as normally as possible.

"Donna! How are you doing?" She nodded platonically and looked up at him. "What's wrong Donna? Wait...you do still want to travel with me don't you? I never even thought to ask, I just assumed...well you know. I can take you home if that's what you want though." She got up from the chair in which she was sat and walked over to him, he braced himself for a smack for his stupidity but instead found himself enveloped in the warm and familiar embrace of his best friend.

"Of course I want to stay, you aren't half stupid for a martian are you! It's just...well are you sure you still want me around? It's been months for you and you've been fine on your own, are you sure you want me back?" She pulled away and held him at arms length to see his reaction, he looked confused in that 'oh dear, humany-wumany stuff' sort of way.

"Are you mad? I haven't been 'fine' while you've been gone, I've barely been coping at all. You don't know how much you mean to me Donna Noble, you are the only thing that has kept me going, and without you I was lost. I was terrified that I'd never be able to see you again, I was so selfish, I came close to coming back for you every day and it took everything in me not to." Donna rewarded him with his favourite smile, the endearing one that he'd only ever seen her do for him and her 'Gramps'. "I just hope you can forgive me for all of that Donna."

"Come here you silly martian boy!" She ordered opening her arms to him, and he happily obliged. She wrapped her arms around him and held him closely like he might disappear if she let go, then began to speak soothing words. "There's nothing to forgive Doctor, you came back for me and that's all that matters now. And if you that's you being selfish I don't care how selfish you are anymore. Just promise me that if I ever do have to leave, for good I mean, then you won't spend all your time moping around, be happy and like I told you the first time I met you, 'find someone'. "  
The Doctor held her at arms length, and looked deep in to her eyes like he was trying to say something with his eyes, but Donna couldn't quite understand what and she frowned, a little confusedly, at him.

"I'm sorry but I can't. If you ever leave then I don't know what I'll do, you mean too much to me Donna, more than anyone in this world." The Doctor saw a flicker of doubt in Donna's eyes at the word 'anyone'. "Even Rose. She's moved on and so have I, we've been through so much more. We are so much more than that. I promise that I will never let you leave unless it's what you want." He looked down as he spoke those last   
few words, hoping it would never come to that.  
She pulled him back in a loving embrace, understanding the look she had seen on his face, telling him that she would always be there, until the day she died.

"I suppose we're stuck with each other then spaceboy. I don't know how we'd explain the neighbours me, well, not aging very fast." The Doctor sniggered at this, seeing the difficulty in a life on Earth now. "Thank you, for everything Doctor, I know I joke about how you're nothing, nothing to me, but really you're my everything. You are my life now, have been since the first day I met you really, you're the best friend in the universe and I'm the luckiest woman this side of Clom that you picked me, out of every other person in existence." She looked up and gave him a smile, and for the first times in months, it was sincere.

"I'm just grateful that I chose you, I couldn't have chosen anyone more brilliant. And I need to apologize for something, the first time we met I said some things that weren't true." Donna's eyes widened in curiosity, wondering what the man could be referring to. "I said you weren't special, or powerful, or connected, or clever or important. And Donna, I was wrong, oh so wrong, you are the most amazing woman ever."  
Donna knew he was wrong, he always said that she was special and important and brilliant, but he was just trying to make her feel better about herself, she really was nothing to anyone. She just didn't have the energy to disagree with him now, so she simply smiled and leant in to his chest, his skinny structure had become comforting and welcoming over the months of hugging reunions. She was just happy, so happy, to be back, with her Doctor.  
~4~

She still had these dreams occasionally, she'd brush it off and say she was fine but he'd still go to her every night, when it happened, to comfort her. It made his heart bleed, she would cry out his name helplessly, to listen to her so upset. Tonight was another one of those nights but she seemed even worse, she was in a cold sweat and she was thrashing around the bed violently, worse than he'd ever seen her before.

"Shhh..." He whispered, careful not to be so loud as to wake her, but enough to calm her in her sleep, usually it would work almost straight away, but it wasn't. "Donna, I'm here, don't worry. Please Donna, calm down." She didn't relax at all, if anything it only seemed to upset her more, he climbed in to the bed beside her. He'd never actually done this before but extreme times call for extreme measures, she needed him like he had always needed her, it was his turn to be there for her now. He held her close to his chest, resting his chin on the top of her head and trying to stay as still as possible while she calmed, it seemed like she was settled when she let out an almighty cry that sent a shiver down the Doctor's spine.  
He shook her awake gently, he couldn't bear it anymore, she would have to know sooner or later that he'd been coming to her in the night. As soon as she woke, her eyes shot open and she jumped to the other side of the bed. Trying to wager her reaction, the Doctor observed her for a few moments, but she just looked shocked, not scared or upset or angry, just shocked.

"Donna, don't worry, it's only me, it's the Doctor yeah? Remember me, eh?" He kept his voice quiet and spoke in a hushed tone, hoping that she would reciprocate, no such luck. He thought as her eyebrows knitted together and her green eyes narrowed in an expression of pure rage.

"YES! I can see it's you Doctor, but I think the more pressing concern here is your whereabouts, you appear to be in my bed, is there a reason for this or did you just think you might pop in for a cozy cuddle, eh?" At least the bad dream hadn't unnerved her too much, but then again she never seemed too shaken up, she was good at hiding her emotions.

"I think you already know why I'm here. I could hear you from the other end of the TARDIS, I mean I know you've got a set of lungs but it was really loud, even for you Don'. Please just tell me what's wrong and I can try to help you. I'm sorry for barging in but I couldn't bear it anymore. Nothing is more painful that watching the people you love in pain." Donna's eyes widened, they had always kind of known that they loved each other - platonically of course - but neither of them had actually said it out loud before.

"It's nothing, just another stupid human problem that you can't solve, I'm fine Doctor, as long as I'm here with you I'm fine." The Doctor always hated when she wrote it off as 'stupid and human', he knew it was so much more than that but she wouldn't admit it, or accept any help. "All I need is you to be here with me Doctor."  
If she isn't ready to talk about it yet then I won't force her, The Doctor thought, but next time I will, I can't bear this any longer.  
~5~

This was it, he thought, the final straw. It had gone too far, happened too many times, and this had tipped him over the edge. He'd been in the library, at least 100 yards from her room, when he heard her scream. He stormed toward her bedroom, determined to solve this problem once and for all, he slowed when came to her door. There was no point in frightening her after all, this conversation was already going to be awkward enough, it was better if she stayed calm.  
After opening the door and closing it carefully behind him, he walked to the end of her bed and sighed. She was still sleeping restlessly at the moment, he could have waited for her to wake but there was no point. He said her name, the same way he always had, hoping not to scare her and luckily he didn't. She just opened her eyes and looked at him, as if to say WHAT? but she just sat up in bed, pulling the duvet with her to cover her modesty.  
After about five minutes of standing there in silence, looking at anything in the room except each other, Donna huffed audibly and broke the longstanding silence.

"So, is there a reason you came to my bedroom at this time of night Doctor?" They both knew the exact reason but it was the easiest way of getting him to talk.

"You know why Donna. And this time, I'm putting my foot down, I refuse to leave this room until you tell me what's wrong, I'm really worried about you Donna, and it's scaring me that I don't know because I'm supposed to know everything, the unknown is something that terrifies me. Please just try to explain this to me, I know I don't understand and you're going to have to try and explain it very simply, but I need to know." He had his worried face on, the one that sent chills in to Donna, and she knew she was going to have to try, even if she didn't succeed.  
She patted the bed beside her and moved to sit cross-legged, he joined her on the bed in a similar position and they sat knee-to-knee, eye-to-eye, hand-in-hand.

"I'm scared Doctor, well more than that, I'm terrified. You assume that these dreams are about when you left me but they're not, well they are but not exactly. All these dreams are about you leaving me again, that's why when you try to comfort me it doesn't work because...I'm not scared that you have left me, I'm scared that you're going to leave me." Neither of them said anything for a few moments, tears fell down Donna's face, and down the Doctor's, neither of them dared to say anything this time around.  
Eventually the Doctor opened his arms to Donna and she fell in to them willingly, she nor he could do anything but stay silent right now. The wetness of her tears had started to seep through to the skin, all the way through the suit and the shirt, and he knew he had shed just as many tears as her.

"Why?" That was all he said, not sure exactly how much of an answer he was expecting, wanting to understand Donna's doubts.

"Because one day it is going to happen, I'm going to be around for a couple hundred years now, maybe more. Usually you don't have your companions for more than a year so one day, you're going to meet someone new. Someone more impressive, someone younger, someone new and I won't blame you when that happens, but it doesn't mean that it won't destroy me when it does." She stated, so matter-of-factly, it terrified the Doctor that she was so certain one day he would leave her behind.

"Donna Noble, you are absolutely AMAZING! There is no-one more impressive than you. Wait..." He narrowed his eyes and blinked before looking back up at her. "I'm getting deja-vu, how is that even possible? Time Lords can't get deja-vu, or at least I'm pretty sure they cant." He saw Donna's eyes, struck with fear, pleading with him not to, but it only made him all the more curious. "Donna?"

"Please don't Doctor, just don't. Don't try to remember it, forget it and I promise I'll never think on this again. Just don't." Donna begged, but the Doctor couldn't resist, how did he already know what was wrong yet didn't. He whipped his hands up to Donna's temples and penetrated her mind, it was much harder to do now that she was part-timelord but still possible.

*flashback*  
It was him and Donna in the TARDIS, well duplicate him, metacrisis him, but still him.

"But why me?" Donna asked.

"Because you're special." The Doctor said while fiddling with something on the control panel, not even looking up from what he was doing as he spoke.

"I keep telling you I'm not!" Donna stated, in her 'stop lying to me' tone of voice.

"Oh but you are." The Doctor said, now looking up at her to see her doubtful expression and he realized something he never had before. "Oh...you really don't believe that do you. I can see Donna, what you're thinking, all that attitude, all that lip. 'Coz all this time, you think you're not worth it." Donna was trying to disagree with him but in her eyes, he could see that she believed every word she was hearing whole-heartedly.

"Stop it." She begged.

"Shouting at the world coz' no-one's listening, well why should they?" He understood everything, Donna wasn't half as strong as she made out she was.

"Doctor, stop it." She pleaded with him hopelessly.

"But look at what you did. No, it's more than that, it's like...we were always heading for this. You came to the TARDIS, then you found me again, your Grandad, your car. Donna, your car, you parked your car right where the TARDIS was gonna land, that's not coincidence. Oh! We've been blind, something's been drawing us together for such a long time."

"But you're talking like...destiny. But there's no such thing, is there?" Donna asked, unsure of what he was saying.

"It's still not finished, it's like the pattern's not complete, the strands are still drawing together. But heading for what?" Even the Doctor was confused.  
*end of flashback*  
He felt himself being pushed out of her head, she was sure to be angry but he didn't care now, he understood and that was everything. She looked outraged, he was in for a smack now, but he didn't feel a stinging cheek and looking at her again, she looked too upset to do anything.

"I'm sorry that I had to do that, but...I needed to understand, I had to." She didn't say anything, she didn't show any sign of reaction whatsoever, he would've preferred for her to do something even if it was slap him. "Please say something Donna."

"What do you want me to say?!" She looked up at him and tears were streaming down her face again, they looked like a mini waterfall. "Now you know Doctor, good old Donna isn't everything she's cracked up to be. Believe it or not, she has feelings!" It hurt him to see her like this, more than anything else in the world had - more than losing Rose, more than losing her, this was more painful that anything else.  
~6~

This was the first time she had left her room since that night, the Doctor had been leaving food outside her door but every time he went back he found it untouched, now she walked in to the control room, trying to act as normally as ever.

"Look Donna, there's only one way I'm ever going to prove to you how much I care. So put your hands on my head, open your mind and you'll see everything, okay?" She frowned but then nodded, not understanding exactly what she was doing, but trusting her Doctor like she always did.  
After following his instructions, she found herself wandering through his mind, she could see everything had seen but more than that she could think every thought, feel every emotion. Through everything she could still hear his voice guiding her, focus on you, he had said. She did and there she saw herself, every day they had spent together, every minute in fact. But she looked amazing, vibrant and outgoing, the way she had always hoped to appear but always known that she didn't...this couldn't be how the Doctor saw her.  
Minutes passed and she watched back every single moment of her life with the Doctor, it had been amazing. Finally she came back out of his mind and smiled at him, he still looked dazed but she didn't care, he was the Doctor - her Doctor - and he was brilliant.

"So do you see now?" He asked, needing to know that she finally understood, and believed. "You are the single most important thing in my life now Donna Noble, and you aren't going anywhere. I'm never going to let you out of my sight again." Donna began to cry, tears of happiness streamed down her face, there was no room for doubt anymore. He pulled her in to his arms and held her there, with her head resting against his chest, keeping a tight grasp on the one constant thing in his life.

"Thank you." She murmured simply in to his chest, the sincerity shining through in her tone of voice. "Thank you for this, all of this. You've made me see that I could be more than 'Chiswick's super temp' if I tried. So thank you Doctor." She wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself up to his level, then kept him at arms length, and smiled.

"You, Donna Noble, are impossible. You're my impossible earth-girl." And she was.

"And you are my impossible martian-not-from-mars-boy!" And he was. They had each other and now, that was enough for the both of them.


End file.
